Dear Mr Letwin,
I returned home from shopping this lunchtime to find a poor tree had died partly to fund an election "communication" from you , promoted on behalf of your campaign by a Mr Antony Stanley.
My first thoughts were to return to sender with instructions on where one could shove it. However I have decided to respond in more detail.
Your election pamphlet was addressed to me here at the Vicarage. You see my wife is a vicar. In fact Mr Letwin you met my wife during the last election campaign. She was introduced to you in her capacity as a local Church minister in Charlton Down and you completely ignored her. Whatever merits or demerits your party may have I would never vote for someone so rude as to completely ignore and refuse to speak to someone in this way. Manners maketh the man and all that. But let's move on - I don't want to make this personal,